Reichian Therapy and Bioenergetics
         and their Developmental Extension into                                           Bodywork

                 As practiced by Nicholas Evan O'Connor  Dip PHINZ


                          The art of movement from the source





15-Deepening your Ability to Love & Be Loved with Reichian Therapy, Bioenergetics & Bodywork

Finding love, expressing love, maintaining a sense of self, retaining personal power and being able to let go fully in a loving relationship, may for some people, be the hardest task that could be set to attain. While we may be overflowing with the need to be fulfilled in love and the body may want for it's completeness, a number of problems often get in the way.  If the body isn't open and free or the movements restricted,  our ability to give and receive love is hampered by the body state. What happens in the body is directly reflected in the mind,  and a tight body denotes restricted thinking. In a loving relationship, the openess of the state allows both parties to bend with the variations that naturally occur in the communications between two or more people.

The more flexible we are, the deeper we can go into the ultimate closeness that is possible for two people to achieve. This is where the real rewards are for couples, the most flexible you can be in both your thinking and your body state, the greater the power and control you have over your own destiny, the more of a concept you have of your own seperateness and the more you are able to feel at one with the other person and the planet we live on. 

When women and men get together it is the contrast between the two bodies that stimulates the intensity of the reactions that we feel.  Apart from hormones, the contrasts between the two, relate to the differing functions  defined in the original construction and development of the female and male bodies. The female body is soft to touch,  delicately formed and over however many thousands, or millions of years of evolution we have been here, has refined itself for childbirth and the raising of children in relatively stable and protected environments that are best suited to those purposes. The male body on the other hand is harder on it's exterior, generally hairier, taller, muscled differently and has been built up over the same period of time,  to range in the environment hunting and gathering or functioning in a way that supports the purpose  of the female form. The female body has its fullness in the pelvis and the male in the chest and when together and facing each other, balance each other out in a classic Yin and Yang formation. The purpose of the opposites of female and male is" balance". 

While the female gives of herself to her environment and nurtures those in it,  the male takes in, from the environment he is in. This is a very definite giving out on the part of the female and a taking in on the part of the male. When the male returns to the home base with what he has taken from the environment, he must give of what he has taken in order that we as a species, survive.  The woman at that point must be open to receiving what the male gives in order to complete the balance of giving and taking.  

This is the way it has been throughout our long passage into what we are today and we are all here today because throughout time that has happened with consistant and happy regularity. 

Because of it, you and I are here in this moment of time.

Each sex or gender must both give and take, and take and give. Whether you are male or female, your deeper impulse will be for the fulness of  both but in the order that is an opposite reflection of the other genders action in any one moment of time. Generally speaking of course.   

I and many other people I know and most clients I have, only know of the female giving out and the male taking in. Full stop. There is not the balance between giving and taking. The male comes home after a hard day at the office/workshop ie. hunting & gathering and puts his feet up, reads the paper, has a meal etc. and the woman who has been giving out to her environment throughout the day ,nuturing, creating and expressing herself outwards continues to do so when the man comes home. In this situation neither adult has had the balance of giving and taking in the one day, the male has taken all day and continues to do so until he drops off to sleep at the end of the day and the woman has given out all day and continues to do so until she drops off to sleep. Both will be depleted by their actions not being balanced in giving and taking and both will end up resenting the opposite sex because of what they are not doing or getting as a result of the imbalance.

In these times, money has replaced the items hunted and gathered from the environment and putting money in the bank is not quite the same as giving of yourself and the crux of problems to do with loving in both females and males comes down to the basic impulses defined above, in the form of giving and taking. It is giving of yourself that is important and being able to receive within yourself that makes the difference

In Reichian Therapy, Bioenergetics and Bodywork these basic impulses are identified and understood by working down into the body state. Whatever the type of loving relationship you are in, the needs to give and receive will be the same and having your need to be loved satisfied, will in some way or other start there.  Working the holding patterns off the body and understanding the limitations of restricted thinking, enables movement towards personal satisfaction in love.  If you wish to make contact with me regarding deepening the fullness of your love life, you can Email me on or write to Nicholas O'Connor at

O'Connor Bioenergetics. 

PO Box 105.

Mangawhai 0583.

New Zealand

or phone/fax 64 09 431-5089 

You can arrange appointments through any of the above medians.

All correspondence is strictly confidential. No information you give about yourself or others is discussed with anyone else. No document or part of any document that you may email, fax or post to me is given or shown to any other person or company.

If you live overseas or in a part of New Zealand where it is impractical for you to travel for an appointment, two, three, four, five day or more, intensive Therapy can be arranged with local Accommodation at Lake View Chalet's  Reduced rates can apply from Monday to Thursday bookings. Owners Gabi and Sven. Email  or phone 0800-525-384

Or at Hidden Valley Chalet's  Owners Pauline and Bruce McVicar. Email or phone 09 431-5332 and Fax-09-431-5552.   


Normal session rates for therapy are $120.00 per hour for individuals.  

Intensives are one session per day on consecutive days and are $100.00 per hour.

Couples on normal session rates are $100.00 each per hour  and $90.00 each per hour on Intensives. 


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Last modified: August 15, 2004